Monday, October 6, 2008

the unseemingly unnessesary stress

Today as i walked up to give my presentation on the prevelance of antibiotic resistance, i found my face trembling. My cheeks shaking as i spoke to the class about proper healthcare technique.
I hoped the students did not notice, and went on my merry little way, explaining all that I had researched. Only ten minutes before this I had a test on some drugs and how they can physiologically effect ones body. any 35 minutes after this, I had a test on the various "theoretical" aspects of nursing.
All of this is irrelavant, when i have come to stop myself and wonder why? Why all the stress and pressure. Its not an option ive learned. Its not something that can be number two in your life, its gotta be number one. Im just not willing to put everything else aside for my schooling and career. My dreams of being an independant, serving, loving, joyfull individual to my love, family, youth, and bestest of friends. However, i am not sure i have a choice in this season. In the past four years of college, scholastics have always come and gone, and risen when nessesary. I did well, and i went on persuing my much demanding life. Now, much to my dismay, my demanding life has been forced to be put on hold.
I guess i have chosen to be okay with it. I have decided that this is what has to be.
My life is in a growing phase, only to become something so much more (or so i hope).
He has promised me something grand, something just for me, and i think this is a part of it.
He has called me to serve his people with my love and hands. Through my future family and husband and his career. I will follow the path, though it may seem like an uphill battle.
My face may continue to tremble with stress and nerves, but its only for a season.

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