Its really hit me, how sad, how destructive, and how painful the consequences of sin is.
We are so precious, yet treat ourselves like we are so tough and invinsible.
my heart is so broken watching young and old suffer so terribly from mistakes that they have made wich turned into addictions, and eventually their life.
Why?
I just wish i could hold the whole world in my arms and make them feel better, and everything okay.
I can only imagine that if i am feeling this intense, how God must feel. He created us, and im just a spectator trying to do what I can.
wow...life is fragile.
God is love.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
yes...yes indeed
Yes...life has sucked lately. but all in all, i think ive got it pretty great. i stress myself way out with things that consume everything i have to give. if i would just take a step back, and see it in his eyes, or get out of my world, i would see, its not all that bad, and im living for something eternal.
I more than ever have been cherishing the TRUE meaning of the holidays this year. thanksgiving inparticular. I DO have sooo much to be thankful for. I really do.
On i go, to my craze filled life. hopefully i can keep telling myself to look above, and take a step back to see what is REALLY important.
I more than ever have been cherishing the TRUE meaning of the holidays this year. thanksgiving inparticular. I DO have sooo much to be thankful for. I really do.
On i go, to my craze filled life. hopefully i can keep telling myself to look above, and take a step back to see what is REALLY important.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
what we work so hard for
From day to day i often find my self wishing, hoping, and dreaming of a life where i do not live for others, success, money, style, personal satisfaction, rewards, guiltless pleasures, and even love. I imagine a world where we all live for the one true creator and infinite powerful one. Then, i find myself getting discouraged as to the fact that I will most likely never reach that point. I think of those i had idealized for so long, and even them, even those who seem so perfect, can only keep striving for a life as it was intended. Unfortunately, i think it might be reality that we can only keep on hoping, and striving to live for only one thing. I have millions of miles to go, but im willing to hold on tight to my bags, and travel on the road. Someday, someday, we will live as it was intended. But not now, now we must struggle with our sins, failures, attempts to success and a perfect love. I guess thats all i got to say right now...but i will keep on pondering about it all. love on this grey october thursday. Gosh, i love the sunshine:(
Monday, October 6, 2008
the unseemingly unnessesary stress
Today as i walked up to give my presentation on the prevelance of antibiotic resistance, i found my face trembling. My cheeks shaking as i spoke to the class about proper healthcare technique.
I hoped the students did not notice, and went on my merry little way, explaining all that I had researched. Only ten minutes before this I had a test on some drugs and how they can physiologically effect ones body. any 35 minutes after this, I had a test on the various "theoretical" aspects of nursing.
All of this is irrelavant, when i have come to stop myself and wonder why? Why all the stress and pressure. Its not an option ive learned. Its not something that can be number two in your life, its gotta be number one. Im just not willing to put everything else aside for my schooling and career. My dreams of being an independant, serving, loving, joyfull individual to my love, family, youth, and bestest of friends. However, i am not sure i have a choice in this season. In the past four years of college, scholastics have always come and gone, and risen when nessesary. I did well, and i went on persuing my much demanding life. Now, much to my dismay, my demanding life has been forced to be put on hold.
I guess i have chosen to be okay with it. I have decided that this is what has to be.
My life is in a growing phase, only to become something so much more (or so i hope).
He has promised me something grand, something just for me, and i think this is a part of it.
He has called me to serve his people with my love and hands. Through my future family and husband and his career. I will follow the path, though it may seem like an uphill battle.
My face may continue to tremble with stress and nerves, but its only for a season.
I hoped the students did not notice, and went on my merry little way, explaining all that I had researched. Only ten minutes before this I had a test on some drugs and how they can physiologically effect ones body. any 35 minutes after this, I had a test on the various "theoretical" aspects of nursing.
All of this is irrelavant, when i have come to stop myself and wonder why? Why all the stress and pressure. Its not an option ive learned. Its not something that can be number two in your life, its gotta be number one. Im just not willing to put everything else aside for my schooling and career. My dreams of being an independant, serving, loving, joyfull individual to my love, family, youth, and bestest of friends. However, i am not sure i have a choice in this season. In the past four years of college, scholastics have always come and gone, and risen when nessesary. I did well, and i went on persuing my much demanding life. Now, much to my dismay, my demanding life has been forced to be put on hold.
I guess i have chosen to be okay with it. I have decided that this is what has to be.
My life is in a growing phase, only to become something so much more (or so i hope).
He has promised me something grand, something just for me, and i think this is a part of it.
He has called me to serve his people with my love and hands. Through my future family and husband and his career. I will follow the path, though it may seem like an uphill battle.
My face may continue to tremble with stress and nerves, but its only for a season.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
obsessed meshing
I am curious as to why certain couples think that the only thing important in life is eachother.
I mean i get the fact that your in love, and want to share many great moments together...but theres something called a balanced life, that I dont think some ever learned about. Its not like im some bitter single woman, venting about people in love. I myself am engaged, and fully devoted to the man of my dreams. I get the whole passion and love thing. What erks me is that people cant see beyond the now. beyond the fact that it FEELS good to do EVERYTHING with just one person, when they are SO young, with so much life to experience in many different aspects. There is something to be said about the importance of friendship, physical health, spiritual health, alone time, and balanced relationships. Its crucial at a young age to grow as an individual AND as a team (with your partner) so you dont just mesh together into some confusing mess and forget who you truly are inside and all of your unique qualities that make you YOU! the making out, and groping in public...really? not necessary. No one wants to see those intimate things. Keep them special between you two. OKAY im done being cynical...Ive just seen way too much of this all over the past several years, and had to get it out! ok. off to work on the countless hours of work... someday it will be better...?
I mean i get the fact that your in love, and want to share many great moments together...but theres something called a balanced life, that I dont think some ever learned about. Its not like im some bitter single woman, venting about people in love. I myself am engaged, and fully devoted to the man of my dreams. I get the whole passion and love thing. What erks me is that people cant see beyond the now. beyond the fact that it FEELS good to do EVERYTHING with just one person, when they are SO young, with so much life to experience in many different aspects. There is something to be said about the importance of friendship, physical health, spiritual health, alone time, and balanced relationships. Its crucial at a young age to grow as an individual AND as a team (with your partner) so you dont just mesh together into some confusing mess and forget who you truly are inside and all of your unique qualities that make you YOU! the making out, and groping in public...really? not necessary. No one wants to see those intimate things. Keep them special between you two. OKAY im done being cynical...Ive just seen way too much of this all over the past several years, and had to get it out! ok. off to work on the countless hours of work... someday it will be better...?
Friday, October 3, 2008
interesting save
It is an interesting theory, this thing called life.
Taking my breath away everyday buy some pre concieved ideas of rightful living, and dutys to humanity
I for one wish my view could conform to a much more simpistic view.
Day and night, friends and family, food and drink, love, our Lord and all of his creations.
Unfortunately the good old world demands unimaginable things out of the persons emotional, physical, andpsychological being.
Due to the fact that I, being a young woman in an ordinary place, cannot revolutionize the world, I findmyself wondering what I can personally do to make my existence more straight forward, purposeful, and full of all it was intended to be.
I desire to get rid of all this "humble-Jumble" and embrace my purpose to be here.
A daily battle, thats for sure, to not submerge oneself into the chaos and evil all around us.
Though the difficulty, the desire never leaves. Once you stop trying, all hope in our own hands dwindles.
Taking my breath away everyday buy some pre concieved ideas of rightful living, and dutys to humanity
I for one wish my view could conform to a much more simpistic view.
Day and night, friends and family, food and drink, love, our Lord and all of his creations.
Unfortunately the good old world demands unimaginable things out of the persons emotional, physical, andpsychological being.
Due to the fact that I, being a young woman in an ordinary place, cannot revolutionize the world, I findmyself wondering what I can personally do to make my existence more straight forward, purposeful, and full of all it was intended to be.
I desire to get rid of all this "humble-Jumble" and embrace my purpose to be here.
A daily battle, thats for sure, to not submerge oneself into the chaos and evil all around us.
Though the difficulty, the desire never leaves. Once you stop trying, all hope in our own hands dwindles.
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